Bureaucracy takes a humorous look at our paperwork-ridden society, poking fun at everything from the post office to the airlines. As can be expected from Douglas Adams, the story contains some genuinely funny moments. But just as dealing with bureaucracy in reality requires patience, so does dealing with bureaucracy in this game; many of the problems are quite tough.
Scoring: There are 21 points in the game, awarded one a time, unless otherwise noted. Actions that points are awarded for are highlighted with quotation marks.
Fill out the form and remember (write down) what you put in the blanks.
OPEN DOOR. GET WALLET. GIVE BEEZER CARD. GET BAG. W. GET ALL. E. OPEN DOOR. E. OPEN BOX. GET LEAFLET. EXAMINE LEAFLET. EXAMINE STAMP. S. S. OPEN BOX. LOOK IN BOX. OPEN BAG. PUT TREATS IN BOX. "GET MAIL." EXAMINE MAIL. (Write down the letter on the mail.) S. OPEN GATE. N. W.
WAIT. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE'S A RADIO CONNECTED TO MY BRAIN. WAIT. E. S. ACTUALLY, IT'S THE BBC CONTROLLING US FROM LONDON. S. (Answer the next five questions using the Popular Paranoia magazine from the game package.)
CUT BARS WITH HACKSAW. DROP HACKSAW. EXAMINE KNIFE. PRESS BUTTON. PULL LEVER. EXAMINE POWER SAW. EXAMINE GENERATOR. CONNECT POWER SAW TO GENERATOR. GET ON GENERATOR. MAN, GET POWER SAW. N. WAIT. WAIT. U. "GET MAIL." EXAMINE MAIL. (Write down the letter on the mail.) N. N. N. N. N. W.
EXAMINE SOFTWARE. AGAIN. YES. EXAMINE CART. OPEN CASE. GET GAME. "SHOW GAME." E. E. WAIT. YES. (Answer the waitress's questions any way you like until she goes on break.) WAIT. YES. (Answer the waiter's questions anyway you like.) WAIT. "EAT BURGER." S. S.
OPEN DOOR. N. W. S. RING BELL. N. E. S. W. S. GET PAINTING. N. SHOW PAINTING TO MACAW. DROP PAINTING. "GET MAIL." EXAMINE MAIL. (Write down the letter from the mail.) E. N. W. N. N. W. EXAMINE LETTER. "GIVE LETTER." GET TICKET. E. E.
KNOCK ON DOOR. S. SHOW LEAFLET. "GET MAIL." EXAMINE MAIL. (Write down the letter from the mail.) N. W. OPEN ENVELOPE. READ MEMO. EXAMINE CHEQUE. N.
(If the bank was closed when you went north, or if you are thrown out when you're in the bank, continue going north until it opens.) N. (Go east or west until you find the window for withdrawals only.) YES. FILL OUT SLIP. (Use same name as you did at start of game. Enter 75 for amount of withdrawal. Answer "no" to illegal activity question. Now go east or west until you find deposit window.) YES. GIVE WITHDRAWAL SLIP. GET CHEQUE. GIVE CHEQUE. SHOW BEEZER CARD. (Return to withdrawal window.) ASK FOR WITHDRAWAL SLIP. YES. FILL OUT SLIP. (Fill it out as before.) GIVE SLIP TO TELLER. "SHOW BEEZER." S. S. S. S. W. W.
READ ADDRESS BOOK. READ LAST. CALL (the number of the cab company). (Answer the questions as you did at the start of the game. You want to go to the AIRPORT.). WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. E. E. WAIT (until it occurs to you that cab might not show up). W. W. CALL (the number of the cab company). Tell the man your last name. WAIT (until Cab pulls up). IN. YES. SHOW BEEZER. YES. WAIT. WAIT. GIVE $17.50.
N. N. S. S. VERBOSE. (Go west until you see a sign that does not have Air Zalagasa marked on it.) N. N. WAIT (until the clerk offers to help you). GIVE TICKET TO CLERK. "DIRECT." S. U. U. OPEN GRATE. U. S. E. N. OPEN GRATE. E. "CONTROLLERS, STOP FLIGHT 42." W. D. D. D. D. EXAMINE SPEAKER. PULL WIRES. "CONNECT BLACK TO RED." D. D.
GET CARD. EXAMINE SAFETY CARD. DROP SAFETY. GET MAGAZINE. READ AIRLINE MAGAZINE. WAIT (until stewardess takes order). FILET. YES. YES. GET UP. S. S. S. S. S. SHOW AIRLINE MAGAZINE TO BABY. SIT IN SEAT C. PRESS LIGHT BUTTON. WAIT. GET LAMINATED. READ LAMINATED. DROP LAMINATED. GET UP. S (seven times).
ANSWER PHONE. YES. YES. NO. N. ASK ATTENDATNT FOR STINGLAI KA'ABI. S. EXAMINE HATCH. LIFT HANDLE. PULL HANDLE. JUMP. JUMP. "J." KNOCK ON HATCH. PULL RIPCORD. WAIT. "REMOVE PARACHUTE."
"PUT RECIPE CART IN COMPUTER." OUT. EXAMINE LOCKER. READ SIGN. TURN LEFT AND MIDDLE HANDLE. TURN LEFT AND RIGHT HANDLE. TURN LEFT AND MIDDLE HANDLE. "OPEN LOCKER." W. GET KEY. E.
PUT UNLABELLED CART IN COMPUTER. ?. CLEAR. (Using the letters you wrote down from the mail in the order that you got them, fill in the blanks on the following commands.) PRINT__. PRINT__. PRINT__. PRINT__. (Read the display from top to bottom, starting in the upper left hand corner. Write down the directions you are given.) QUIT. E. (Use the directions you just got.)
INSERT KEY-CARD IN DOOR. OPEN AIRLOCK. AGAIN (until it opens). "N (two points)." READ SIGN. W. EXAMINE LEFT. W. EXAMINE LEFT. W. EXAMINE LEFT. W. EXAMINE COMPUTER. READ FIRST PAGE. PLUG MODULAR PLUG INTO COMPUTER. RANDOM-Q-HACKER. RAINBOW-TURTLE. HELP. DIR. RUN. PLANE.EXE. DIR (until you are told the name of the next file the hacker is going to run. Note the name of it). COP. DVH2.HAK. (Type the name of the file the hacker is going to use next.) YES. "DIR (until shutdown happens)." W.
U. WAIT. "WAIT (two points)." W. S. S. W. "READ LETTER."