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I have recently come to the conclusion that life is inherently meaningless, although we, as individuals, can assign our own meaning or purpose to it. This is a conclusion that many will disagree with. For example, the Pope called me up the other day and told me I was an idiot.
Not long after that, I received a call from a rabbi, who wanted me to know if I was serious about my philosophy or if it was just part of my schtick. "Silly rabbi," I said to him, "schticks are for kids." Now I could, if I chose to, use my conclusion that there is no higher purpose for our lives as an excuse to wallow about in existentialistic angst. Fortunately, my philosophy has an addendum that simply states, "If life is a joke, then why not laugh?" The great thing about the absurdity of life is that many of the ridiculous things we say and do become profound, simply because they reflect the true nature of the universe. Thus, much of what I have said throughout my life goes from being inane to being deeply significant. The phrases, "I fell into a cup of noodles," "My cousin is an argyle sock," or even "Mookity, mook, mooky, mook," all of which I have been known to say, for no reason at all, now have an added meaning. The unprovoked chicken noises I have made are no longer considered to be the acts of a crazy man, but are, instead, clues to guide the uninitiated down the paths of understanding. Excuse me for a second. My phone is ringing... Sorry. It was the Pope. I wish he would just leave me alone. Anyway, it is because of my philosophy that I practice "random acts of randomness" -- acts that are neither detrimental or especially helpful to my fellow human beings. Although, such acts could enlighten them, should they be receptive to the profundity behind all that is bizarre, strange, and off-the-wall. Some random acts you can do: -- Apologize for something you never did. -- Pick a word (randomly) out of the dictionary. Insert it in as many conversations as you can. The word "Persnickety" is a good one. -- Buy a stuffed animal. Name it. Have conversations with it. Make it talk to other people. -- Dig something out of the trash and frame it. Give it to someone you barely know. The next day, ask for it back. Not only is performing random acts fun, but it has additional side benefits. It can enables one to become receptive to new ideas and tolerant of concepts that you previously regarded as strange and, if enough people do it, it widens the range of what society considers as acceptable behavior, thereby enabling me to get away with being just a little bit weirder. And that's really what it's all about; isn't it? |
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