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One of the very first Mensa events I went to was an Annual Gathering in Long Beach. The most vivid memory that my wife and I have of that event is of when we were in an elevator and this guy, unprovoked, started singing "Oh Danny Boy." A lady, who was standing between him and us, promptly put her finger to her nostril and accompanied him by humming through her nose. When I heard that the theme of the Regional Gathering was going to be music, I was a little apprehensive, given my experience with Mensa musicianship. Fortunately, the music at the Inland Empire RG was of a much higher quality. In the spirit of the RG, I thought I'd share ten musical facts.
Fact 1) When she was young, my sister's name was Mary Smith. She refused to check into hotels under her real name. Fortunately, when she got older, she married a man by the name of Jack Christmas and everything was okay. When she got pregnant with her first child, she got an ultrasound and found out that it was going to be a boy. I asked her what she was going to name him and she told me she was going to name him Dwight. "Why did you choose that name?" I asked. "Well," she said, "I used to know a guy named Dwight who was kind and gentle and a wonderful human being and I want my son to grow up to be just like him." "Oh, I see," I replied. "You're dreaming of a Dwight Christmas, just like the one you knew before." Fact 2) In the movie, The Sound of Music, the Von (shut your) Trapp family fled Germany to escape the Nazi regime. Later on, in history, many Nazi war criminals fled Germany and went to South American countries to escape prosecution. This was the inspiration for the song "Don't Crime for Me Argentina." Fact 3) I believe that when I open up the refrigerator to put a six-pack of MGD inside, the beer actually hears the sound of the refrigerator opening up and it makes the beer happy. I like to think that it's music to my beers. Fact 4) I made up the last few facts, but this one, I guarantee you, is a "true" fact. On the latest album by the rock group Kansas, there is a song about a man who is living a dangerous life in apocalyptic times. It's called "Grand Fun Alley." Get it! Grand Finale! Those wacky Kansas guys have been coming up with clever titles ever since that "Ducks in the Wind" song. Fact 5) LeAnn Rhymes. My question is, with what? Fact 6) Long before there were compact discs, there were these round things called "records." They were usually made of black vinyl, but for a while there was a marketing gimmick where the records were released in different colors. As a result, I have a copy of Hotel California in green vinyl. In response to this trend, record companies began releasing records with pictures on them. This was their vinyl answer. Fact 7) Recently a lot of classic rock bands have been touring the country. In one case, the Who and the Guess Who were performing together at a nearby stadium. I wanted to know what order the bands were playing in so I asked a friend, "Who's on first?" Him: That's right. Me: No. I'm asking you. Who's on first? Him: Yes. Me: Let's me put it this way: who's on second? Him: Guess Who. Me: No... You tell me. Him: I did. Guess Who. Me: Forget it. Let's talk about baseball. Fact 8) Two other classic bands, The Stones and Styx, were playing at the nearby Blockbuster Pavilion and people who went to the concert trampled the lawn of my friend who lives near the pavillion, busting many of his garden gnomes in the process. My friend said that he never had trouble with people trampling his lawn when female musicians like Pat Benatar were in concert. "Styx and Stones may break my gnomes," he said, "but dames will never hurt me." That's what he said. Fact 9) Bruce Springsteen and I have a lot in common, so much in fact that people are often getting us confused. I was at a Springsteen concert once and people kept shouting out his name. I thought they were yelling at me and so I got confused. See what I mean? Also, Bruce and I have the same initials (that are strangely relevant), we both mumble a lot, and we both have web sites. Mine is www.bruceAsmith.com. I'm not sure what his is. I'm just assuming he has one. Fact 10) I am out of musical facts. Have a nice day. |
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